French Cursing (otherwise known as Big Words)

One skill I have not yet developed in French is the ability to curse. Ability to curse someone out, to be precise. Now, I don't usually curse people out in English either, but when I have strong adverse feelings I like to be able to express them, if only under my breath or behind someone's back. When I curse in French, I think I just sound ridiculous. 'Tis a pity, because I have had lots of missed opportunities, especially with people who do not curb their dogs or act like they are doing you a huge favor when in fact they are just performing a job that they are paid for. I practice, but it's not easy because the French have a particular way of cursing.

I do love it when the French curse. I love it because they just don't seem to be satisfied with just one swear word. Americans or the English can be very expressive with just one word, usually the F-word or the S- word. The French however usually string a few of them together when they are pissed off, which is new to me - so PeeWee, for example, would say something like "putain fait chier bordel de merde c'est pas vrai!" - which is actually like 4 curse words strung together, accentuated by the final "c'est pas vrai" ("it's not true")

What really is amusing to me is that the French actually say that last part a lot. I would say something like, "Manolee woke up again at 4 in the morning" and they would say to me "c'est pas vrai". Or I would say something like "the teachers are going on strike again Tuesday" and they would say "c'est pas vrai". And I always have this urge to say, why are you saying it's not true? It's true! It's absolutely true! Why would I lie? Or when I hear someone absolutely devastated, for example, because they have misplaced their wallet, and they say "c'est pas vrai!" - I just want to say to them "face it, sista, it's true! Shit happens!"

The kids call curse words "les gros mots" - direct translation: "Big Words". You would hear a mom in the playground admonishing her kid "do not say those big words" - but to me, "big words" sound like those multi-syllable SAT words that a kid should be congratulated for using in everyday context. So when Hana came home one day and said, oh so-and-so said a big word and was sent to the principal - my reaction to her was: "c'est pas vrai!"