9/11/2001I had a presentation to give at 9am to another group, I think IED. Got in the office around 8. Jodi, who worked in I think Interactive, was already at her cube across from me and we chit chatted a little bit before putting our respective heads down and got to work. We were the only ones on our side of the building, and soon I saw my VP Anant walk into his office.
Jodi and I both heard a loud bang, but did not think anything of it (I thought it was construction noise). A minute later, Jodi's phone rang - I wasn't listening but detected surprise in her voice. She hung up and said, there is a fire in the WTC. We ran to the other side of the building to take a look - and saw the gaping hole in one of the two towers. Papers fluttering down from the gaps, fire burning. Brilliant clear blue sky as an almost eerie, inconsistent backdrop. Sirens almost immediately. PA came on, saying stay where you are, there is no danger. We went back to our desks. But I think curiosity got the best of us, we both headed back to the same windows on the other side, and there were maybe 20 of us, just gasping at what was before us - by now somebody said a small plane crashed into it - we were commenting how people must have died on impact, both in and out of the plane; wondering how do you not see a big building like WTC? Did the pilot have a heart attack?
Then a huge grey plane materialized out of nowhere from the Hudson River and crashed into the other building. We all screamed - one of the guys with us fell over and knocked down a cubicle wall. Without a word, we all started running. I went back to my desk, got my bag and Anant came out of his office, we told him another plane just hit, and we all started running down the stairs. Without exchanging words, everyone had come to the same conclusion - this is no accident, something more sinister is happening and we are the next building.
The stairs took forever. I lost a heel on my right shoe somehow but made it down. On the ground crowds were thick, all looking up at the two burning buildings. They said subways were closed. They said more planes were up in the air headed to Manhattan. They said people were jumping from WTC. I sat down on a curb, thinking WTF. What just happened? Then, how do I get home now that the subway is closed? Nobody's cell phone was working, which added to the bizarre atmosphere.
I don't know how long I lingered there. Anant came over and said, come on Rae, we are gonna get out of here. I said to him, no I'm gonna stay right here, I have nowhere to go, I can't go home. He said, no better to walk uptown. I said no the subways are not running, where would I go? He insisted, no we are all walking uptown. I got up and joined the group - self, Anant, Jodi, Becky, Debbie (who I think had fainted but recovered at this point), Shu, Liz? I think maybe Corinne too.
We went up North End Avenue, and stopped at a deli. I shared a bottle of water with Jodi. We went up to Stuyvesant and paused. Shu got a phone call on her cell - it was from her father-in-law, calling from Geneva. None of the local calls were getting in, but from abroad the lines seemed to work for some reason. She told him she was okay. He called back some minutes later and asked if he should help get in touch with the families of her colleagues. I quickly gave her my home number so that he could call PeeWee and let him know I was okay.
We passed many many cars just parked on the streets, with windows down and the radio blaring. Reporters were arriving from uptown. People shouted out bits of news, like 8 more planes in the air! They are attacking Washington too! Bridges are all closed! I think most of us were in utter shock. I don't remember much talking as we walked up north.
Then I heard a rumble, like a long thunder. Looked back and saw an enormous cloud of smoke coming down. People started screaming. We were probably on Worth Street, so the cloud does not reach us, but we can see it clearly. What is happening? Anant says a wall collapsed. People around us echo this, a whole wall has come down. How is that possible? Because of the smoke and the cloud, it does look as though the back part of the building is still standing. We are dumbstruck. How many more people are now dead? What about all those people just standing around downstairs? I am chilled by the thought that I was going to just linger downstairs by the WFC myself till the subways reopened.
We keep on walking. We get to Canal Street and it's packed as usual. I think at this point people from my group separate. Memory at this point is really hazy. I just know I decided to walk up to 12th street to my friend Edith's apartment. And I did, alone. Along the way, somehow, people covered in dust overtake me. They have run from the site and kept on running, so now that they are ahead of me, heading more and more uptown with a clear purpose: get away from lower Manhattan. I try two lines at public phones. Neither line moves very fast. I give up and keep on walking.
I get to 12th street. To my dismay, Edith is not home. I sit down in her lobby. The doorman is watching TV and does not pay me any mind. Sirens are deafening. People in the lobby are talking and when someone says, the towers fell, I dispute it. I say, no just the one wall came down, I saw it! They look at me like I've got two heads. One of the girls says to me, no the whole building came down, and the second tower too. I am again dumbstruck and I say, that is not what I saw! She takes pity on me, invites me upstair to her apartment to give me some water.
I go upstairs with her, her boyfriend comes in and they turn on the TV. But I feel uncomfortable and tell them I will wait downstairs for my friend. I wait in the lobby some more, not feeling at all sure that what they told me is true.
Not sure at what time, I think around 2pm, Edith comes back home and finds me in the lobby. I was so happy to see her. Then a black hole in memory. I think I tried the phones again. I think I got to talk to PeeWee. I don't remember what I said to him. I don't know how but somehow Mei got in touch with me and told me that her brother has a car in the city and that we will drive back to Queens as soon as the streets and bridges open up.
I remember then leaving Edith's apartment and making my way to East 30s where Mei worked. Passed NYU Hospital, lots of people standing around, speaking in hushed voices, lots of ambulances on the streets. Met up with Mei, I think she was already with Ken. I think around 6 or 7, the bridges opened up and Craig drove us back to Queens. The LIE was completely and utterly deserted, the very first time (and last) I have ever seen the highway empty. It was very unreal.
Coming back home - remember very little after. Just remember the headlines the morning after - and feeling very empty.
Later, the building super and his wife tell me that PeeWee was an utter wreck. He had seen the news and went up to the roof to see the burning towers. He was crying, thinking that I was dead. He said the old lady downstairs came up to complain about Hanaya running in the apartment and he just snapped at her. He then got a phone call from Shu's father-in-law from Geneva, so he knew that I was alive.
9/11/2011PeeWee thinks it's silly of me to dwell on what I remember and what I don't. He thinks it's unhealthy to think back to that day. Somehow I feel differently. I lament the holes in my memory. I still choke up when I read stories about that day. I am astounded by stories of luck and coincidence that kept people out of harm's way. I'm inspired by stories of children who lost a parent that day, children who strive everyday since to make that parent proud. I'm struck by the insanity of what happened. And I hope and pray that, despite other terrorist attacks since 9/11, that something of this magnitude does not happen again, that people snap to their senses and see the futility of such attacks.
