Celebrating Birthdays - French Style

This entry is not meant as a slight to any French parent, but rather observations gleamed from the past few months.

In a nutshell, what I am finding is that kids' birthday parties are not taken that seriously in France. I'm not being judgmental here - in many ways, I like and admire that lackadaisical casual attitude that most parents seem to adopt in celebrating their kids' birthdays here. But it is a sure departure from what we've known in NYC and London.

First of all, 99% of the parties are held in people's homes - contrast that with parties in NY and London where I would say 90% of parties are held somewhere else - OK apartments and houses tend to be smaller in NY and London, but still.

Secondly, everyone here bakes their own birthday cakes. Quite casually, I would say. No frosting, no icing, just a simple chocolate cake. I think back to the humoungous (and expensive) Barbie cake we had ordered for Hana's 7th birthday in London, and I feel quite sheepish.

Thirdly, party favors are almost unheard of. Hana attended three parties last month and only got favors at one - and it was loose gummy bears and one of those ballpoint pens they give out at conferences (with the name of a pharmaceutical company on it, no less), all in a plastic shopping bag. In another party, Hana came home with a few candy pieces in one of those white disposable cups. Manolee came home from a party with a book (nice!) but it was wrapped in leftover Xmas wrapping paper (the party was in March). Most moms do not prepare any favors whatsoever. Again, this is nice! One less thing to stress over, and again, quite unlike in NY and London. 

Fourth - there is just not a whole lot of advance notice on the parties. On a Monday, I would get an invitation for that following Wednesday. On Friday I would get an invitation for that Sunday. I do not know if the parents are just really disorganized or it is a clever ploy to limit the number of kids from coming.

Fifth - invitations are almost always handwritten, longhand. As in, "I invite you to my birthday party on Saturday etc etc. Please call my mom and let her know quickly whether you can come!". No cutting to the chase with only the must-know info, the when and where.

Lastly, moms can be quite strict at the parties. Hana told me that at one party she did not get any cake because she had not finished some snacks on her plate that were handed out beforehand. Can you imagine withholding birthday cake from a guest!? Well, again, it's quite liberating to know that you can discipline  or threaten another person's kid into behaving the way you them to.

Well, I'm not sure I am quite brave enough to adopt all these local customs, but it's nice to know that I can now set the bar a bit lower! Vive la France!